Issued with Romance

So I was reading this interesting wattpad book that seeks out the opinions of the site users on various wattpad/internet problems and reading other people's opinions just sents my brain to overdrive. This really just means that there is a loud opinionated and sassy (cough, bit itchy, cough) running commentary in my head. Seriously, she's a devil, don't know how she escaped her cage...

Anyway the topic of 'Issued with Romance' (on the internet at least) really brings out the she-devil in me which obviously resulted in this.

Anyone who knows me or have read this blog or looked at my reading list on any internet reading site or whatevs is probably well aware of the fact that I am an almost exclusive romance reader. 

Ah yes, I can feel the judgemental stares. Whatevs. I am a girl and a romantic at heart no matter how cynical I may sometimes sound. Perfectly normal for me to like reading romances. 

But I feel the need to clarify. 

Yes, I like reading romances. 

Yes, I like the idea of romance. 

Yes, I am guilty of enjoying Mills and Boon (come at me judgemental stares!). 

Yes, I sometimes seek out cliche stories on purpose. 

But, do I actually like the romance stories I read? Mostly no. 

Do I think they are largely unrealistic and unoriginal? Yes. 

Do my eyes get more exercise (through rolling) than the rest of me if I read for 2-3hours a day? Yes. 

Do I scream abuses at the computer because almost every romance story sucks? Yes. 

Do I hate myself sometimes for liking 'cliche crap' (as some people may put it)? Yes. 

So why do I subject myself to utter frustration and devastation in the romance genre?

Let's start with the negatives. 

You know what I hate? Introductions. 

No, it's not the introductions you are thinking of. It's self introductions in stories that I hate. 

It's kinda became a way for me to see if the a cliche story is worth reading. If I "so I better introduce myself..." or "I am 5'5 with long brown hair and green eyes..." or any other equivalent of that, alarm bells sound "Abandon! ABANDON!". 

I obey the command but no before the sassy she-devil from within flings abuse at it: "What are you 5!? No body gives a fuck about how you look like or how sparkly your damn personality is! Haven't you heard!? Actions speak louder than words you little twat! ighreot834hc843cho34tv" and other obscenities.

Yeah I definitely need a punching bag. 

Along the same lines as self-descriptions: character profiles. Oh. My. Effing. Pies. I honestly can't tell you whether whether profile or descriptions are worse. 

I am sure there is at least one person out there (or so I am hoping) that can write a good character profile. But I have not come across any. What I have seen is this is literally this give or take a few headings:

Name: Jane Doe
Age: 18
Personality: Jane is a happy-lucky-go girl who always have a bright smile. She is beautiful but she doesn't think so. She might seem like a nice girl but everyone is scare of her when she is angry!

Like what the actual fuck. 

Excuse me while I go and build a space ship and find an alien planet where the residents actually have a brain.

I honestly don't know whether these characters profiles and descriptions are more disturbing or watching A Serbian Film (if you don't know what that is go look it up. It's a disturbing piece of work).

Seriously, I am really gonna have anger problems if I come across any more of crap like these.

I am too disgusted by the thought of those profiles and descriptions to even think about all the other things wrong with wrong with romances on the internet. 

Yep. Definitely gonna needa get a punching bag.

♥W=3ndu