I am back...?

Lol~ seems like I finally decided to show my face again...

Hahaa~ but I don't know how long that's gonna last... ==

So what's been happening you ask.

Well....

COMPLETED THE HSC!!!

now just sitting here waiting for the results to curse me into the fiery pits of hell.....

on another note....

I added something at the bottom of my blog thingo... just scroll scroll scroll to the bottom

you will be face with 'Red List' glaring at you from among the abyss...

so what is the Red List?

Red = Read... let's just get that outta the way =3

so basically just a list of stuff I have read (red) which I consider to be a favourite of mine..

the middle (directly underneath 'Red List') is my favourite of the favourites in a way

the left are the ones that I favour and I just can't imagine making this list without them even if I don't particularly favour them that much...

the right are the ones that are still in progress but what's been written so far has captured me... however the problem with unfinished work is that it can go either way.. it might end up really good or it could be a complete and utter disappointment....

so yeah... just a bit of info for you peeps out there =3

if I get bored I will write a little 'review' of sorts for each of them.... which kinda means copy n paste stuff I have written about them xP
cya when I cya! (which might be never =3)

♥W=3ndu

∞

WELCOME 2012!!!!!!!!!! xD

^lol~ that's 4days too late ^^"  oh well =3

I was doing very *cough* productive *cough* things during those 4days x3

Haha~ don't know whether you can tell =3  but I am in high spirits the moment! xD

ZOOOOMMMGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!! XD XD XD

*on Cloud 9*

okaii~ before you guys think I am more insane than normal (<-- not exactly sure what normal is =3but you get my drift..?) I will explain what is happening~ =3

Yeah!!! STORY TIME!!!!! x3

(I'm clear really high joyous at the moment~ =3)

ZOMG!!!!

INFINITE!!!!

∞

THEY ARE AMAZING!!! DAEBAK!!!!!!!!!

I am officially in love with them~♥! =3

Hahaha~ The thing is I knew of them... I was just never aware of them... ^^" if you get me~ =3

I mean I am avid reader of fanfiction and I have noticed that the tag: 'infinite' just keep climbing up the popular list... and now they are the number 1 group tag on Asianfanfics ~

I have seen all the review of EatYourKimchi and have thus watched most of their MVs... and when I watched it, I was like: "Wow~ Damn they are good!!!"

And I have definitely heard my friends talk about how good they were...

But up until now I didn't have a single one of their songs. Nor did I even know how many members they were.

Heck I probably checked them out when they first debuted (not that I remember ^^").

I just never really pay them any attention more than "Wow! They have good songs!" (Heck I didn't even have their songs!)

But a fanfiction changed that.

Normally I wouldn't read fanfiction of people I didn't know... but the fanfic was on the featured list and it sounded really good, so I read it =3

Lol~ I have to admit I was searching up the members as I was reading it... and I will share what I said at the time (actually I remembered I searched them up before too and had the exact same thought):

"THEY ALL LOOK THE SAME!!!!!!!!!!! o.o Srsly... Is it just me... Or do they look alike?
... oh~ but they all very very good-looking~♥ *w*"

Haha~ I never had a dilemma where I couldn't straight away distinguish the members ^^" but with Infinite I kept searching up the individual members but it always ends up being something like this:

"Oh~ He is really good looking~ x3  *searched up another member* oh~ very handsome too.... wait... wasn't he the guy before? *searched up another member* Mmm~ Good-looking too~ Wait... Isn't he the guy before and the guy before that!? O.O" *rage quits*

But now I can proudly say: I can distinguish them!!!! xD

And now looking at them... I have no idea why I was so confused ^^"  but at the time it made perfect sense =3

Haha~ but for some reason (Osh agrees!) I think SungJong, the maknae, looks like Taemin! No srsly! They really look alike! =3 SungJong is so cute~ Poor him... always getting abuse by the other members ^^"

And well... for some other reason.... I think Hoya looks a bit like Yunho... ^^"  I know Hoya's face is a lot wider than Yunho's... Yunho is a lot taller and also lankier... but I srsly think they look alike ^^"  and even some of their expressions and mannerism resemble! .... maybe it's just me ^^"

Lol at DongWoo's laugh! Kekeke~ =3 I love his laugh =3 I don't know.. but it makes me laugh xD  although I can't figure out why I am laughing =3  and he has the funniest reactions too! x3

Lol~ Sungkyu and his nagging~ x3

Sungyeol the elementary kid.. I have no idea why that's his nickname though ^^" him and his pranks~ lol~ xD

I love WooHyun and his fanservice~ =3 lol~ I know it's suppose to make fangirls squeal and faint from happiness... but it makes me laugh xD  Not because I am laughing at him but I just find it funny (does that even make sense?? xD) Haha~ he is 1 of my 2 favourite members =3ohhh~ and did I mention he was really nice arms xD haha~ pretty muscular x3

I know L is suppose to be mysterious and all.... but he remind me of a kid ^^"  lol at the members saying: "he has no presence" x3  haha~ I don't know why but he remind of a kid ^^" Sorry L ^^" but the name 'L' will always make me think of L from Death Note before I think of you ^^"  haha~ he is my other favourite member =3 I can't decide between him and WooHyun (although I know DooWoo comes 2nd x3  'cuz he just makes me laugh for no reason =3)

Anyway! Enough with the fangirling over the members!

Continuing with my narration! xD

I kept seeing fanfics of them... I guess that's probably what initially prompted me to get their songs...

And then I don't know.. I just felt like watching a show with them in it.. So I did =3

(Yeah for impulses! x3)

I found Seasame Player~ and I just felt like I should watch it~ =3

(Yeah! for instincts! x3)

So I did~ =3

And I am so glad I did~! x3  They are so funny~! x3 (and that's how I learned their names and faces.. although it take me all the way 'til episode 4 to get it right ^^") So far I haven't had a moment where I felt bored (which happens a lot ^^") which I have to say is really good sign seeing that (as much as I love them) when I was watching the B2ST documentary I was bored half the time ^^" (sorry B2ST ^^"  I still love you, more like especially your songs =3)

Haha~ and because I saw how amazing they were (mostly because they talking about their comeback) =3 I went and rewatched all of EatYourKimchi's reviews on them =3

And all their MVs =3

And all their debut and comeback stages~ =3

I have to say DAEBAK!!!!! x3

(soz to Alisa, if she's reading this, for all the koreabooness ^^"  is that even the right word??)

I am not obsessively crazy over them =3 which is a good sign =3  because it means I like them not because of image and the hype but because I actually like them =3

They are officially the first group besides DBSK (Always Keep the Faith~!) who I actually want to declare myself as an actual, official, fan of.. meaning that I want to call myself by their official fanclub name (i.e. I'm a Cassie.. or I am a B2UTY.. or I an a INSPIRIT)

I mean, anyone who knows will know, I really love B2ST.. but I will say I am their fan but I won't call myself a B2UTY.... do you guys get the difference (between being a fan and an official fan who goes by the official fanclub name)??

So for me actually wanting to acknowledge myself as an Inspirit is a pretty bid deal...It's a first since DBSK (who will be special to be for ∞ ~   xD like the pun?? xD)

Haha~ So yeah I really love them =3 but I am not crazy obsess with them (which is a good sign) =3

I guess now I am a Cassie... and an Inspirit?

lol~ I am still a bit reluctant to be an official fan of anyone else besides DBSK ^^"

I guess it's something I will just have to come in terms with~ =3

But for me... DBSK will forever be the best~ =3   I am not betraying them (just in case some crazy fan accuse me of it ^^"), I merely learning to walk forward and appreciate other great talents while still loving DBSK =3

Good luck INFINITE in the yr 2012!!!! x3 

To ∞!

♥W=3ndu

P.S. Is it just me.. or has basically all my post this holidays been fangirling posts???
QUICK! Somebody do something that I can post about that will not be fangirling!!!!!! >~<

Five Forever.

I don't even know why I am blogging about this.Since I kinda yell this out everyday of my life (that's an exaggeration - maybe not everyday).

I don't know. Maybe it's 'cuz I am bit emotional thepast3days lately.

Maybe it's 'cuz I went to Asianfanfics last night today.

Or maybe it's 'cuz one of their songs were playing few seconds ago.

Or perhaps it's because one of my friends mentioned them just now.

I don't even know.

What I do know is: I miss them. A lot.

I miss them enough to use full stops instead of '...'.

That's how much I miss them.

I love fanfics. That is a known fact.

But lately I can barely even stand to go into the fandoms of any of them.

I mean, I am the girl who scavenge-hunt thru fanfiction.net when Itachi died, when Hidan died, when Ace died, hell even when Kakuzu died just so I can read fanfics of them alive.

I guess it's just that I want them back together so much.

When I read fanfics of them being 5, I feel so sad and empty that they aren't actually 5 anymore.

When I read fanfics of them being separated as they are now, I feel sad and disappointed that even fanfictions are starting to accept their separation.

When I read fanfics of them miraculously finding a way to kick SM's ass and get back together, I want to cry because I want that to happen for real so much.

I guess I can never be satisfied unless they really get back together.

You know what the sad part is?

I only got into Kpop a few months after they started the lawsuit.

And by the time I became a fan, it was already to late to see them together because a few months later they officially split.

Maybe it's regret that I didn't ever got the chance to feel the anticipation of waiting for their new album/single/EP/mini-album come out.

I feel even sadder when I see: JYJ's JaeJoong or JYJ's Yoochun or JYJ's Junsu because to me they are still part of DBSK.

Every single time I see TVXQ I still expect to see 5 faces but instead I only see 2.

I guess nothing lasts forever.

But being the flawed human that I am, it's a not a fact that I am willing to accept.

I realise that it is probably hard on them too. I mean they are brothers who have been through thick and thin together for 9 years. They who had no friends but each other when they wandered into the foreign land of Japan and manage to make a legend out of themselves.

They must be the one taking this the hardest or maybe the shell is dry. Hell I don't know how they feel or the details of what really happened.

I try not to assume. But it's hard. I can't help but speculate. In my mind: they must miss each other so much since they have been brothers for 9 years. But for all I know their friendship might have fell apart. For all I know they could have sat down and discussed this. For all I know they could still be in communication.

Who knows besides them.

Of course, I won't deny that I have painted SM to be a villain in my mind. And I admit, for all I know they could really be angels. But the fact is looking at Hangeng's case and their lawsuit and the rumours it is hard to not paint SM as a villain. And the fact is the court have ruled in favour of both Hangeng and JaeJoong&Yoochun&Junsu against SM.

This makes it really easy for people to doubt the sincerity of SM and thus SM is a villain in the eyes of many fans.

Of course I know that there are fans who blame JaeJoong and Yoochun and Junsu for the split. And yes, I agree that if they never filed the lawsuit they will still be together.

But one have to question what happened behind the scenes?

And one have to question why Yunho and Changmin didn't join them?

These are question that we can never find the truth to. Even if all involve share their version of the story. Their truths will be different and thus each fan's truth will also be different. There will not be one truth but many. Which one you believe will depend entirely on your values and you as a person.

I don't ever think the whole story will be exposed. And even if part of the story is told there still might be untold parts. There are somethings that people don't share.

So if or when the story is told, I will listen but I will keep my mind open because there are always untold parts to every story.

That doesn't stop me from forming an opinion though. It's only human nature.

I can't promise not to judge but I can promise to listen and be flexible.

I think I went off track again.

You know what else makes me sad?

The fact that I don't have all of their songs.

It makes me feel like I don't have the right to say I am fan.

But I will get all their songs. I am determined.

Even though I said that, I still feel the sad bitter after-taste when I listen to their songs.  And that makes me afraid to get their songs for the sake of self-preservation. I am a coward and I know that.

But I guess that makes me even more determined. I might be coward but I am stubborn as hell.

It doesn't change the fact that they are split though.

Always Keep the Faith.

I will imprint those words across my heart.

But it doesn't stop me from feeling like they will never be together again. That makes a bit of a bad fan aye?

It just that my logical side keep reminding me that the chances of them being together is slim. The lawsuit is not quite over yet. Both SM and JaeJoong&Yoochun&Junsu are too stubborn to submit to the other. Unless they are willing to both win some and lose some then the chances are they are not going to be together anytime soon if ever.

But, with that said, my romantic side keeps repeating: "Believe." Believe that they will work some out and they will be together again.

Of course, my hopeless side keeps wishing that somehow a huge new company comes and somehow everyone is free from SM and they can be together again - like the fanfics.

I just miss them so much.

I miss them enough that I have not used any smilies throughout the whole post. For anyone who knows the way I type, they must know that this is a heck of an achievement.

It just shows how much I miss them as 5.

I will continue to support them as the 3 and 2 that they are now.

But in my heart and mind, they will forever be 5.

♥W=3ndu

Get Out

First of all...

Yeah I wasn't at school today ^^"  Thanx Abby for your concern =3
and Dior =3

No I was Jigging... my ankle was acting up 'cuz of the weather ^^"  haven't you ever heard that old injuries (i.e. sprains, fracture, broken bones) ache when the weather is gloomy? Well it's true ^^"

Unfortunately... even though I was planning to do some serious ENGLISH work.. I didn't.. Instead my old bad habit was also acting up ^^"

I spend the whole day reading fanfiction ^^"

Bad W=3ndu!

But with that said..

Zomg! I have completely forgotten how atrocious the writing can be on fanfiction sites!!!! >~<

Haha~ But I did manage to find some amazing ones! =3

One is a Heechul fic.. but that one isn't completed.

The other is a JaeJoong fanfic =3 Oh JJ! How I adore you!!!! x3

http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/75824/get-out-dbsk-drama-jaejoong-junsu-jyj-romance-yoochun

And because this fanfic is sooo good.. I feel like I should give a bit of a W=3ndu rant review about it =3

There's just one thing I want to complain about this fanfic before I start. The grammar is quite atrocious at some parts ^^"  and there seems to be words missing at parts too ^^"

With that outta the way.. I have to say the plot is really good!

Although typically I prefer stories with deep and meaningful insights to the character's character, this fanfic gives an illusion of that even though there really isn't many delve-into-the-complicated-mind-of-the-character moments. Overall I don't have any complains about the characterisation.

But I just realised. The fanfic, despite being in the view of the characters, has quite a impersonal tone. That's probably why I don't reckon there was any deep and meaningful insights to the character's character even though I realised that the characters are quite realistic and there are moments of deep and meaningfulness. However the seemingly impersonal tone takes the edge of the moments for me.

To speak honestly about what happened....

!!!!!!!SPOILER!!!!!!!(well... the only spoiler is who she ends up with.. which should be pretty obvious anyway. ^^"  and there are a few vague spoilers here or there but it is nothing major ^^"  So really there isn't much of a spoiler ^^")

Don't get me wrong.

I love the fact that she ends up with JaeJoong. I love he changed his ways because of her and how deeply he has fallen in love with her. It's so sweet how he use to be so selfish, only caring about himself and hurting everyone, but at the end he was willing to sacrifice his own happiness to give her the chance to be happy - even if it is without him. I find that incredibly sweet.

However... The ending just felt really bitter sweet for me.

It's just... Yoochun. They both love each other. Yet neither one confessed. They both choose to give up on their feelings for each other at exactly the same time. I found that so sad. That part of the ending makes me feel like it's the prologue of some other love story because there are several stories that begin something like that. It almost made me forget about JJ. Almost. To me, it feels like both Yoochun and her gave up their chance to be with each other - their soul mates. Instead he choose to watch her be happy, and she choose to try again with her first love (who I might add, despite not being her soul mate, her 100% perfect guys, is like probably the 99.99% perfect guy for her).

When I close my eyes and try to imagine her future with Yoochun, I see something so bright like Sun. It feels like their relationship will be full of sunshine and laughter. But I guess the problem with that image is that: the weather is unpredictable. As we caught a glimpse earlier, Yoochun and her had a huge fallout - a tornado. For me, their fall-out/fight had one of the most personal tone in the whole story. So I guess in my mind if they ended up together, their relationship will be unpredictable and wild like the weather - one day will be full of smiling sunshine, the next day with be a raging storm.

When I picture her relationship with JJ, I see a meadow and leaves swaying in the breeze. Sure their relationship, in my mind, will not be as amazing and sunny as Yoochun and her's. But it will be peaceful. Because unlike the weather, even if the leaves all fall down it is still a peaceful thing. Yes I know at the start he and her was at each others' necks. But he changed so much and the ending of the story seem to suggest a really peaceful and romantic relationship but not something extremely passionate and fierce like what her and Yoochun's relationship could've been.

I guess in a way that what they, Yoochun and her, choose might have been what was better for them. Because, honestly in my opinion, their relationship together might have been amazing but the higher you climb the further you fall. Ofc, I do realise that they were both waiting for the other to give an indication. What I think is that they both wanted some sort of subconscious reassurance that it relationship of extreme passions will be worth it.

Well that is just my opinion. This is the first time I have read something which makes me so torn about who the character should have end up with. I do often feel bitter sweet about the ending, but I've never felt torn. Because I can see both positive and negative things about both relationships. And either way, the relationship would have been great. So I am just really torn.

So this is just some of my rant =3  Haha~ as you can see ^^" I am still think everyone has a soul mate =3 

But just to add to what I said last time... I also think that being with your soul mate is always the best thing. Because the higher you climb, the greater the fall. Sometimes, even if there is an emptiness which creeps up once in a while, a peaceful relationship is more preferable.

♥W=3ndu

P.S. Yesh... I decided to change the name of the post ^^"  I didn't really like 'Torn' because I could think of so many other topics that could fit under it. ^^"