For Alisa.

For Alisa,

I read your post. And it made me sad - sad and a bit disappointingly piss (not piss at you though). Yes I know and can understand why you would think we, the people you're the closest to, would not understand. But I am temperamental and that does not stop me from flaring a tad. Although the anger is not at you. It is rather the frustration that had build up in the past due to the exact same thing.

I know people will scoff at the claim that I was socially awkward; but it's the truth. And I am pretty sure I don't really seem like it but the truth is I was, and to some extend still am, very insecure. Even now I am still introverted and shy at times.

Like you, I have also tried to be outgoing and make friends. I tried to 'belong'. Yes. I do seem to have succeeded in this goal. But I never got anywhere by trying to fit in.

When I tried to fit in, I felt empty. Almost like I will never be of worth. And I don't want you, my precious friend, to feel this way. Yes, I know from your blog that you already kind of feel that way. So I want you to know that the harder you try to mold yourself in an effort to belong, the more empty you feel; no matter how many 'friends' you make.

I realized, from experience, that the only way to be outgoing and feel fulfilled, instead of empty, is to learn to accept yourself. Be content with who you are.

Of course I know it's a lot harder than said. It took me years. But one baby step at a time. I know you can do it. You have a lot of pride. So be proud of the wonderful person that is Alisa.

Despite what you seem to think, you are a wonderful person. You are not ugly. You are very attractive (I am saying this not because I am your friend but because I truly believe it's true). And you are a lovely person who is fun and caring and emotional. You just need to believe in yourself.

When you can embrace yourself, you will find that the world will embrace you.

"Those who matter don't mind. Those who mind don't matter."

Be yourself.
As cliche as it sounds, we love you for you.

 ♥W=3ndu