Oops~ I did it again~ =3

Lol~

Art~ =3 

Like it??? (thanx Ollie last time for commenting and liking my art~ =3)

Haha~ I can't help it ^^"

I just get the urge to draw it.... so I do ^^" 

And it develops as I draw it ^^"

It was a heart at first (below pic =3) but it turn into what was above......

lol~ I thought my heart looked too empty... don't you reckon? >~<

but I thought something simple was more suitable and will look better =3 hence the dots circles dots=3

Kekeke~ xD

I wonder what will happen tomorrow?

lol~ my mom actually suggested for me to use henna so it will last longer ^^"

Ne~ never expected my mom to take an interest ^^"

♥W=3ndu

Butterfly~ =3

Do you like it????

Do you like it~! x3

I sure as hell do~ =3

lol~ I drew it freehand and it didn't turn out too not-proportionate~ =3 which is a GREAT achievement~ xD YEAH~!! x3

Lol~ my mom thought it was tattoo~ =3

Kekkekeke~

Mom, there's a magical thing there call 'liquid eye-liner'.. never heard of it? It's magical~ xP

Haha~ I am very proud of my artwork =3

Too bad it will come off in the shower >~<

♥W=3ndu

P.S. YEAH!!! A non-kpop post! x3

∞

WELCOME 2012!!!!!!!!!! xD

^lol~ that's 4days too late ^^"  oh well =3

I was doing very *cough* productive *cough* things during those 4days x3

Haha~ don't know whether you can tell =3  but I am in high spirits the moment! xD

ZOOOOMMMGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!! XD XD XD

*on Cloud 9*

okaii~ before you guys think I am more insane than normal (<-- not exactly sure what normal is =3but you get my drift..?) I will explain what is happening~ =3

Yeah!!! STORY TIME!!!!! x3

(I'm clear really high joyous at the moment~ =3)

ZOMG!!!!

INFINITE!!!!

∞

THEY ARE AMAZING!!! DAEBAK!!!!!!!!!

I am officially in love with them~♥! =3

Hahaha~ The thing is I knew of them... I was just never aware of them... ^^" if you get me~ =3

I mean I am avid reader of fanfiction and I have noticed that the tag: 'infinite' just keep climbing up the popular list... and now they are the number 1 group tag on Asianfanfics ~

I have seen all the review of EatYourKimchi and have thus watched most of their MVs... and when I watched it, I was like: "Wow~ Damn they are good!!!"

And I have definitely heard my friends talk about how good they were...

But up until now I didn't have a single one of their songs. Nor did I even know how many members they were.

Heck I probably checked them out when they first debuted (not that I remember ^^").

I just never really pay them any attention more than "Wow! They have good songs!" (Heck I didn't even have their songs!)

But a fanfiction changed that.

Normally I wouldn't read fanfiction of people I didn't know... but the fanfic was on the featured list and it sounded really good, so I read it =3

Lol~ I have to admit I was searching up the members as I was reading it... and I will share what I said at the time (actually I remembered I searched them up before too and had the exact same thought):

"THEY ALL LOOK THE SAME!!!!!!!!!!! o.o Srsly... Is it just me... Or do they look alike?
... oh~ but they all very very good-looking~♥ *w*"

Haha~ I never had a dilemma where I couldn't straight away distinguish the members ^^" but with Infinite I kept searching up the individual members but it always ends up being something like this:

"Oh~ He is really good looking~ x3  *searched up another member* oh~ very handsome too.... wait... wasn't he the guy before? *searched up another member* Mmm~ Good-looking too~ Wait... Isn't he the guy before and the guy before that!? O.O" *rage quits*

But now I can proudly say: I can distinguish them!!!! xD

And now looking at them... I have no idea why I was so confused ^^"  but at the time it made perfect sense =3

Haha~ but for some reason (Osh agrees!) I think SungJong, the maknae, looks like Taemin! No srsly! They really look alike! =3 SungJong is so cute~ Poor him... always getting abuse by the other members ^^"

And well... for some other reason.... I think Hoya looks a bit like Yunho... ^^"  I know Hoya's face is a lot wider than Yunho's... Yunho is a lot taller and also lankier... but I srsly think they look alike ^^"  and even some of their expressions and mannerism resemble! .... maybe it's just me ^^"

Lol at DongWoo's laugh! Kekeke~ =3 I love his laugh =3 I don't know.. but it makes me laugh xD  although I can't figure out why I am laughing =3  and he has the funniest reactions too! x3

Lol~ Sungkyu and his nagging~ x3

Sungyeol the elementary kid.. I have no idea why that's his nickname though ^^" him and his pranks~ lol~ xD

I love WooHyun and his fanservice~ =3 lol~ I know it's suppose to make fangirls squeal and faint from happiness... but it makes me laugh xD  Not because I am laughing at him but I just find it funny (does that even make sense?? xD) Haha~ he is 1 of my 2 favourite members =3ohhh~ and did I mention he was really nice arms xD haha~ pretty muscular x3

I know L is suppose to be mysterious and all.... but he remind me of a kid ^^"  lol at the members saying: "he has no presence" x3  haha~ I don't know why but he remind of a kid ^^" Sorry L ^^" but the name 'L' will always make me think of L from Death Note before I think of you ^^"  haha~ he is my other favourite member =3 I can't decide between him and WooHyun (although I know DooWoo comes 2nd x3  'cuz he just makes me laugh for no reason =3)

Anyway! Enough with the fangirling over the members!

Continuing with my narration! xD

I kept seeing fanfics of them... I guess that's probably what initially prompted me to get their songs...

And then I don't know.. I just felt like watching a show with them in it.. So I did =3

(Yeah for impulses! x3)

I found Seasame Player~ and I just felt like I should watch it~ =3

(Yeah! for instincts! x3)

So I did~ =3

And I am so glad I did~! x3  They are so funny~! x3 (and that's how I learned their names and faces.. although it take me all the way 'til episode 4 to get it right ^^") So far I haven't had a moment where I felt bored (which happens a lot ^^") which I have to say is really good sign seeing that (as much as I love them) when I was watching the B2ST documentary I was bored half the time ^^" (sorry B2ST ^^"  I still love you, more like especially your songs =3)

Haha~ and because I saw how amazing they were (mostly because they talking about their comeback) =3 I went and rewatched all of EatYourKimchi's reviews on them =3

And all their MVs =3

And all their debut and comeback stages~ =3

I have to say DAEBAK!!!!! x3

(soz to Alisa, if she's reading this, for all the koreabooness ^^"  is that even the right word??)

I am not obsessively crazy over them =3 which is a good sign =3  because it means I like them not because of image and the hype but because I actually like them =3

They are officially the first group besides DBSK (Always Keep the Faith~!) who I actually want to declare myself as an actual, official, fan of.. meaning that I want to call myself by their official fanclub name (i.e. I'm a Cassie.. or I am a B2UTY.. or I an a INSPIRIT)

I mean, anyone who knows will know, I really love B2ST.. but I will say I am their fan but I won't call myself a B2UTY.... do you guys get the difference (between being a fan and an official fan who goes by the official fanclub name)??

So for me actually wanting to acknowledge myself as an Inspirit is a pretty bid deal...It's a first since DBSK (who will be special to be for ∞ ~   xD like the pun?? xD)

Haha~ So yeah I really love them =3 but I am not crazy obsess with them (which is a good sign) =3

I guess now I am a Cassie... and an Inspirit?

lol~ I am still a bit reluctant to be an official fan of anyone else besides DBSK ^^"

I guess it's something I will just have to come in terms with~ =3

But for me... DBSK will forever be the best~ =3   I am not betraying them (just in case some crazy fan accuse me of it ^^"), I merely learning to walk forward and appreciate other great talents while still loving DBSK =3

Good luck INFINITE in the yr 2012!!!! x3 

To ∞!

♥W=3ndu

P.S. Is it just me.. or has basically all my post this holidays been fangirling posts???
QUICK! Somebody do something that I can post about that will not be fangirling!!!!!! >~<

Five Forever.

I don't even know why I am blogging about this.Since I kinda yell this out everyday of my life (that's an exaggeration - maybe not everyday).

I don't know. Maybe it's 'cuz I am bit emotional thepast3days lately.

Maybe it's 'cuz I went to Asianfanfics last night today.

Or maybe it's 'cuz one of their songs were playing few seconds ago.

Or perhaps it's because one of my friends mentioned them just now.

I don't even know.

What I do know is: I miss them. A lot.

I miss them enough to use full stops instead of '...'.

That's how much I miss them.

I love fanfics. That is a known fact.

But lately I can barely even stand to go into the fandoms of any of them.

I mean, I am the girl who scavenge-hunt thru fanfiction.net when Itachi died, when Hidan died, when Ace died, hell even when Kakuzu died just so I can read fanfics of them alive.

I guess it's just that I want them back together so much.

When I read fanfics of them being 5, I feel so sad and empty that they aren't actually 5 anymore.

When I read fanfics of them being separated as they are now, I feel sad and disappointed that even fanfictions are starting to accept their separation.

When I read fanfics of them miraculously finding a way to kick SM's ass and get back together, I want to cry because I want that to happen for real so much.

I guess I can never be satisfied unless they really get back together.

You know what the sad part is?

I only got into Kpop a few months after they started the lawsuit.

And by the time I became a fan, it was already to late to see them together because a few months later they officially split.

Maybe it's regret that I didn't ever got the chance to feel the anticipation of waiting for their new album/single/EP/mini-album come out.

I feel even sadder when I see: JYJ's JaeJoong or JYJ's Yoochun or JYJ's Junsu because to me they are still part of DBSK.

Every single time I see TVXQ I still expect to see 5 faces but instead I only see 2.

I guess nothing lasts forever.

But being the flawed human that I am, it's a not a fact that I am willing to accept.

I realise that it is probably hard on them too. I mean they are brothers who have been through thick and thin together for 9 years. They who had no friends but each other when they wandered into the foreign land of Japan and manage to make a legend out of themselves.

They must be the one taking this the hardest or maybe the shell is dry. Hell I don't know how they feel or the details of what really happened.

I try not to assume. But it's hard. I can't help but speculate. In my mind: they must miss each other so much since they have been brothers for 9 years. But for all I know their friendship might have fell apart. For all I know they could have sat down and discussed this. For all I know they could still be in communication.

Who knows besides them.

Of course, I won't deny that I have painted SM to be a villain in my mind. And I admit, for all I know they could really be angels. But the fact is looking at Hangeng's case and their lawsuit and the rumours it is hard to not paint SM as a villain. And the fact is the court have ruled in favour of both Hangeng and JaeJoong&Yoochun&Junsu against SM.

This makes it really easy for people to doubt the sincerity of SM and thus SM is a villain in the eyes of many fans.

Of course I know that there are fans who blame JaeJoong and Yoochun and Junsu for the split. And yes, I agree that if they never filed the lawsuit they will still be together.

But one have to question what happened behind the scenes?

And one have to question why Yunho and Changmin didn't join them?

These are question that we can never find the truth to. Even if all involve share their version of the story. Their truths will be different and thus each fan's truth will also be different. There will not be one truth but many. Which one you believe will depend entirely on your values and you as a person.

I don't ever think the whole story will be exposed. And even if part of the story is told there still might be untold parts. There are somethings that people don't share.

So if or when the story is told, I will listen but I will keep my mind open because there are always untold parts to every story.

That doesn't stop me from forming an opinion though. It's only human nature.

I can't promise not to judge but I can promise to listen and be flexible.

I think I went off track again.

You know what else makes me sad?

The fact that I don't have all of their songs.

It makes me feel like I don't have the right to say I am fan.

But I will get all their songs. I am determined.

Even though I said that, I still feel the sad bitter after-taste when I listen to their songs.  And that makes me afraid to get their songs for the sake of self-preservation. I am a coward and I know that.

But I guess that makes me even more determined. I might be coward but I am stubborn as hell.

It doesn't change the fact that they are split though.

Always Keep the Faith.

I will imprint those words across my heart.

But it doesn't stop me from feeling like they will never be together again. That makes a bit of a bad fan aye?

It just that my logical side keep reminding me that the chances of them being together is slim. The lawsuit is not quite over yet. Both SM and JaeJoong&Yoochun&Junsu are too stubborn to submit to the other. Unless they are willing to both win some and lose some then the chances are they are not going to be together anytime soon if ever.

But, with that said, my romantic side keeps repeating: "Believe." Believe that they will work some out and they will be together again.

Of course, my hopeless side keeps wishing that somehow a huge new company comes and somehow everyone is free from SM and they can be together again - like the fanfics.

I just miss them so much.

I miss them enough that I have not used any smilies throughout the whole post. For anyone who knows the way I type, they must know that this is a heck of an achievement.

It just shows how much I miss them as 5.

I will continue to support them as the 3 and 2 that they are now.

But in my heart and mind, they will forever be 5.

♥W=3ndu

Writing and Fangirls

Okay~ So I suddenly feel like writing a post...

... but I completely forgot what I wanted to write about ^^"

Damn! I even had sentences prepared!!! >~< and they were perfect!!! >~<

well... acutally... it's not like I exactly forgot the topic... I still remember the topic... but I have no idea about the contents ^^"

How that works? I have no idea.. It just does okay!! >~<

*thinks*

*5minutes later*

Hmmm~~ it was that fb status... but what about it... hmmmm.....

*10minutes later*

Maybe I should get off my ass and start pacing instead................................... Nah! =3

*30minutes and a box of chocolates later...*

oh that's right!!!!!!!!! I Remember!!!! (<--- btw that's a wonderful song by Bang YooGuk-or-something-like-that and Yoseob~ =3 It's amazing~! =3)

Lol~ I already fb-ed this... so why do I feel the need to do it again...

well.. let's face it.... fb isn't like a blog... and I can't exactly go into insane details on there ^^"

SOO!!!!!!!!

LET'S START AT THE BEGINNING!!! x3

Well... I was on allkpop looking at the Seoul Tokyo concert or something like that... and then I saw on the side............

"JYJ's JaeJoong reveals his idea type!"

ofc~ being the instinctive fangirl that I am... I clicked on it...

but straight away I realise how silly that was.. because well.. I have watched sooooo many variety shows and he always reveals his ideal type.... "Pretty hands!"

so you think I closed the tab?

Well no....... ^^"  I am way tooo curious for my own good ^^"

and then I read this:

He elaborated with, “It seems that as time passes by, my ideal woman changes. Before it was, ‘I like those with pretty hands and feet’, but it changed a lot now. I would like it if her personality was random. I like woman who push and pull [play hard].“

I guess I wasn't exactly right... okay so sue me.. I thought celebrities won't change what they say to the public as their ideal type. Sue me... =P

So if was an insane fangirl...

and let me elaborate here...

I am insane and a fangirl..... but I am not an 'insane fangirl'!

Geez! There is a different get it right! I mean the insane in 'insane fangirl' describe the fangirl... but the insane in 'I am insane' describes me... see there's a difference! =3

(it makes perfect sense to me =3)

Okay so... let's continue with 'hypothetically' situation... IF I was an insane fangirl... my reaction upon reading that would be something like:

"ZOMG!!!!! JJ♥! That description is like totally a mirror image of me!!!!!!! ZOMG!! I am SOOOOOOO perfect for you!!!! I ♥ YOU JJ!!!!!!!!!"

Ofc~ seeing as I am actually only insane and not an 'insane fangirl.... I did not react like that....

Instead it was more like:

"... Cool story bro... ofc your ideal type would change.. but srsly I think you just broke the hearts of all the girls who worked so hard to get pretty hands ^^" Geez men. Never taking responsibility for what they say......"

As much as I love JJ~ I am not exactly deslusional enough to think that:

Our eyes met above the heads of the screaming fangirls. It was just for a moment but it felt like an eternity. I could see it in his eyes that he felt the same spark. A banner intervened. Our gazes were broken but the memory of it lingered. I know I will never forget the feeling of that one second of paradise.
That was 3 years ago when I was still a nameless fan among the crowds. To me that was our first meeting even if we never exactly 'met'. I smiled and remembered the day we physically met for the very first time...
My best friend's birthday was coming up and I was shopping for the perfect gift. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts I did not see the man that was rushing blindly in my direction. Nor did I see the collision course we were bound for until it was too late. I fell and braced myself for the impact. Instead of the cold concrete, I expected, warmth enveloped around me.
"Are you okay miss?" a handsome voice asked in concern.
I glanced up, ready to assure the stranger that I was okay. But all words died in my throat. It was like a piece of my memory had came to life. My gaze met those heavenly ones that haunted my every thought...
"What are you daydreaming about now?" my recollection was interrupted by the husky voice of my husband tickling my ear.
I smiled, "I was remembering how I first met you... my idol, JaeJoong..."

Excuse me while I gag.

Geez~ I am just so good at writing theses cheesy crap *gag* srsly maybe I should go write a oneshot *imagines it and gags* er... maybe not... as much as I am amazing at it... I really don't think it's good for my health. with all the gagging and stuff..... ^^"

SRSLY! This is what insane fangirls fantasies about... and despite the fact that I can write it, I do not fantasies about this type of cheesy happily ever after with idols/celebrities...

Darlings... The truth is. It's not gonna happen.

I mean (call me cynical) what are the chances that you guys will bump into each other in the mall and end up getting married a few years later.... I doubt he would even remember your name... no offense but they probably meet a lot of people and it's just not realistic.

Okay... I admit I do love reading fanfiction.. but the thing is to me they are just another story but with characters that I am already familiar with.. and I am a romantic at heart... I mean what girl doesn't dream about a guy saving them? (please don't say feminists ^^") I sure hell do.

It's just that... well... the chances with idols is er..... like 0.1%.. okay yesh it's still a possibility but sweetie the odds are against you ^^"

The things is idols/celebrities are wonderful... and even if we think we are 'in love' with them now... when we meet them and (if you are really lucky) get to know them.. the chances are they are nothing like how we imagine them to be.. and well maybe you will be in love with the real them.. but if don't then no matter how hard you try to hold onto your 'in love' ness for them, it will most likely fall apart.. and it will just break your heart...

So I guess basically what I am saying is.. sure go be insane fangirls.. daydream all you want (hell I do that all the time).. love your idols as much as you want.. but always keep one foot planted on the ground so if your dreams get dashed you will be able to land safely and not be lost in the world.

And do yourself a favour.. go out and find love instead of fantasying about love =3

♥W=3ndu